APRIL FOOLS!
Part of sticking to my not-so-new-by-now eating plan is maintaining perspective -- and a sense of humor ----- about what I'm doing. This isn't the most important thing in my life, or even the second most important thing. I write about it every day not because it occupies my attention but because, by writing this blog, I'm remind me every day that I have to think carefully about what I'm putting in my mouth. Most of the time, except for when I'm cooking, I don't think much about food.
That's kind of strange for me because three months ago, that's all I thought about. When I wasn't obsessing over what I was going to eat next, I was wracked with guilt over what I just ate. It was a constant worry for me and even though I knew it was an unhealthy attitude, I couldn't seem to do anything to fix it. But the desperation is gone. The moment I first felt a hunger pang, I used to start thinking about what I was going to eat. But now, hunger pangs usually don't distract me from what I'm doing. I know that food is available when I want it and I don't get that frantic feeling anymore.
My relationship to food has changed significantly. And with that has come a kind of inner calm. I know that what I'm doing for myself is good and I wake up every day knowing that I'm going to make it through another day putting healthy things in my mouth. Day 100 is coming up soon. That's a big milestone. And there are a few milestones coming up on the scale.
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